This is Pastor Tim’s Article which appeared in the Evening Leader on Tuesday, August 20, 2024
A couple of weeks ago, Susan and I were driving back to my parents’ house for my nephew, Jake’s, birthday. We were just outside of Alger when the road was closed that we usually take. That was no problem, I delivered pizzas in that area for years, so I know the area like the back of my hand. We turned and drove through the countryside to get to my old house. Susan was not familiar with the area, so I was telling her a bunch of stories about the places I knew. The drive was only a few miles, but it is amazing how many stops there are when you are driving down memory lane.
I told her about hilarious things that happened, cars in ditches, places I had worked, people I knew, and times I remembered things happening. But there is one thing that really shocked me that I did not realize. In that span of just a few miles, we passed by the houses where three of my dear friends had lived in years past. I remembered birthday parties, and football games, and being cool, all that kid stuff we all did. But as we were driving, I had to admit, of those three dear friends houses we drove by, all three of them had passed away. All of those special memories took on a whole new perspective that I drove past three of their houses in that short span.
I am old but I am not THAT old. In my class of 42 people in the spring of 1993, I believe we are pushing nearly a dozen of us have passed away. Of the three friends whose houses we passed, one died of a motorcycle accident, one died of a head injury, and the third one died of a blood clot in her lung. Presiding over her funeral was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
For each of these friends of mine, I have a ton of happy memories. One of them was the full back on the football team and I was his left tackle. He and I leveled a lot of opposing players. One was a former girlfriend of mine for a short time. The third one, whose funeral I presided over, we rode the bus together for years. To this day, she is one of my favorite people ever. Lots of happy memories, but for each of them, there is also one terrible memory. So young, all of them.
I write about a lot of stuff in these articles, most of it is just me making observations about the world. But today, I want to write about what really matters. How will you be remembered? For my three friends whose house we drove past, their deaths were not the first thing I remembered. I remembered the football games and the bus rides and going out for dinner. I remembered laughing and cheering and poking fun at each other. Yes, it didn’t take long for my heart to ache, but that is not where the memory started. The first thing I remembered were happier times, and I am forever thankful that I have those memories. It is my intention to treasure them until the Good Lord allows me to see them again.
The lesson I want you to take from my friends who were cheated out of so many things in this world is make every day you have count. My friends and I did not grow up in an era where we did everything electronically. We never texted or posted or video chatted because none of that ridiculous stuff existed back in the 90s. My memories of them were of doing things together. We went places and we spent time together looking at each other in the real world.
I give you my word and this is God’s honest truth, you will not remember anything that you did through your phone. You will not remember any text, post, tweet, update, or snapchat. Those are not memories nor are they experiences. They are just a big fat nothing. When the time comes that you want to remember your friends, you won’t remember anything you experienced through your phone. You will remember adventures you had.
Back in the 90s, we didn’t text, we wrote handwritten notes that we passed back and forth. I probably wrote some of those notes to my friends at some point or another. I can’t remember any one of those notes specifically which is interesting because this is a handwritten note I’m talking about. A handwritten note takes time and persistence to write. How much less are you going to remember some stupid text you type in 3 seconds and send without thinking about it? Go and do things with your friends in real life. That is the stuff you are going to remember.
And to Becky, Lana and Doug, I still love you guys and remember you fondly. Today, I look more like my Dad than I look like the kid you knew. I hate that it took a stupid road detour to put you back in the forefront of my mind. You deserved better than that. I am who I am today because of you guys, and I am sorry that you didn’t get to make it to 49 years old, like all of you would have been this year. I want you to know that I appreciate the great times we had.